I’ve just remembered that a few months ago, I attended an old-uncle-that-I-never-see-birthday dinner where I sat across this guy. He’s a bit older than me, sitting next to his wife, his kids running around like crazy. We exchanged mundanities for a bit, fired the usual what-do-you-do-where-do-you-live-do-you-have-children? questions and then switched to politics for a while.
Now I recall when this happened: just before the French elections…
Anyway. At this point, his wife still sitting next to him, he just looks at me, half a piece of bread in his mouth, bewilderment in his eyes and bluntly says: “I don’t know why you wouldn’t have kids already. I’m happy I had mine in my early twenties because I was more energetic back then. I feel that I’m aging and sometimes I can’t keep up“.
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? I asked myself. Silently.
You see, sometimes, I try to be polite and calm. It doesn’t happen very often. Also, I think I was really shocked. Had it be another female telling me this, I would have started yelling and spilled wine everywhere. I also would have finally calmed the fuck down and would have engaged in a very smart -or so I think- and brilliant discussion about this delicate subject. You see, I like to think I’m open to opinions that are different than mine.
However, a random guy telling me that as I’m approaching my thirties, it’s insane I still don’t have any kids yet; it’s making me lose my mind. Everything about it is so wrong, I don’t know where to begin. The major thing being: how a guy could ever have an opinion on something he’ll never have to face? He’s never going to have to choose between education/building a career and putting everything on hold to go and have kids. The thing is, guys can do both at the same time.
Something that I have learned since the 28 years I’ve been living this both nightmare and dreamy life that is mine, it’s that, yes, you can be/have everything you want. Just not at the same time.
It’s something I struggle with all the time. I’m guessing many more women feel the same.
If you wondering what the hell is it with me and this story, it’s because I watched the first episodes of The Handmaid’s Tale yesterday evening. If you feel as much angry as I am right now typing those few lines about this jackass, go and watch it right now. Or better, buy yourself a copy of Margaret Atwood’s novel, you’ll feel empowered and a bit challenged…
photo via lordlykisses.tumblr.com