I was driving home from Brussels this evening and I thought ‘what the heck? just write those thoughts down and press publish‘. It’s Monday evening and now, I’m home all by myself. The cat is curled up against my legs and I’m drinking tea from my favourite cup.
If you read my last posts, you’ll know that I’m trying to blog more regularly and to do so, I planned a few posts in advance. I had a little brainstorm, came up with a few ideas and I started writing.
The post that was planned to go up last week was one about my trip to Finland. I started writing it three weeks ago but everything went wrong! I didn’t know what photos to pick, whether to go with a focus (‘5 reasons you should go to Finland‘) or not, then I didn’t like my editing… Well, I typed up some words and then deleted them all…
What a mess.
Anyway, I’m writing this instead. The truth is, I question myself sometimes. Ok, yes, a lot. Since leaving my job a couple of months ago, I found myself with a lot of free time and decided my hobbies should have a more important part in my life. I made a secret plan to grow my blog and Instagram by becoming more regular and more creative with my photography. I’ve decided to do my thing at my own pace and not care about what people think. I guess I don’t really practice what I preach…
I want everything to look as I imagined straightaway: perfect photos, beautiful words, amazing ideas and brilliant content… I want immediate results. But surprise!, thinking like this actually prevents me from doing anything at all. I end up not posting anything and it’s actually the opposite of what I actually wanted to happen! I’m neither posting anything nor taking any photo…
I’ve done it before: a few years ago, we moved into a house that needed a bit of decorating work. I really wanted to document everything on the blog in a creative manner but it didn’t go the way I wanted it and I became quickly disappointed. I ended up not posting much.
I’m determined to change that about me. I guess I need to be more organized and get on with it.
I feel very content now that I’m out of a job that was making me miserable. I’m just a little bit bored. I do some little freelance work right now to keep me a little bit busy but I obviously don’t work like I used to. I’m starting with my new boss in August. I’m kind of excited but in the meantime, I’m in a weird position. I’m not on holiday, so I don’t really relax properly, but I’m not working fulltime either. It’s bizarre. My days are really unstructured and it makes me think I lack a serious routine. I’m not complaining at all but I feel like I should change something… I don’t know what yet.
Life is good. Really good. The bf and I have big ideas and great plans but I feel like we’re also stuck. We just don’t do anything. It’s like we’re waiting for something else outside of our little bubble to make all of our dreams come true. It’s not a good way of thinking.
Overall I feel a little demotivated. When I was job hunting, I was totally focused on one thing and I knew what to do in order to find a new position. Life is not supposed to be like that I guess, chasing one goal after another. I don’t know, maybe what I feel now is temporary. I’m not unhappy, neither sad nor depressed. I’m just meh.
How do you feel right now? What do you do when you’re stuck in a rut?